A quick reflective tea break

Hmm,  I've been blogging for a while, but unlike those that do it every day and build up a huge following, I seem to do it less and less and it's probably only my sister reading this now.  But we had words, not me and my sister, me and the blog.  We decided it was time to stay focused and put some effort in.  And not just in the blog, in everything.  Having a child totally changes your life, obviously, point understood, but I'm wondering if it has totally stripped me of my ability to communicate and enjoy life.  Where did that fun-loving care-free happy-go-lucky me go?  I think I'm doing OK generally, most of the time, but it's nothing to write home (or here) about.  I'm struggling with fulfilling my husband's needs, and he is struggling with our situation right now, yet I think we will come out of the woods soon enough and realise that it wasn't all that bad, these things happen, you get over it and work it out somehow.  Communication is key and we haven't changed the locks yet.

The transition from being a woman to a mother is quite an incredible thing.  The love you feel as a woman for your man is something strong, uniting, passionate, exciting.  Put a baby in the mix and those feelings are still there, but how compelling is that protective bond?  That little precious being that relies solely on you for everything takes over, your heart and soul would move heaven and earth to protect and guide him.  It's a totally different way of life.  People you used to care passionately about seem to disappear into the ether.  Not forgotten forever, just no longer in your 'now'. 

That bloody cockerel!!! Why does it always go mental at this sort of time, just as the little one is sleeping, or at least trying to!  Perhaps this is why the blog has been neglected, and the husband! I just don't get time to sit down and do anything without some sort of interruption!  I'm in the middle of nowhere, idyllic and peaceful, baby sleeping, time to do something for me then that bloody shaggy cockerel starts.  Have you ever seen a cockerel getting frisky with the hens? Poor loves, what did they do to him? He arrogantly struts around, cock-a-doodle-dooing, shaking his scrawny arse in some poor hen's face, I've a good mind to... (calm down Flora) ...finish my tea, comfort the baby, think about preparing dinner, hang the washing out, wash my hair, tidy up, do some filing, make some biscuits, wrap the birthday present for my niece... That's right, run around like a blue-arsed fly for a few more hours until Jam's home then put the baby to bed and have some quality time with hubby: without falling asleep!

A tea break is never long enough these days.

Sleeping in pink

Hit a bit of a rough patch, struggling with the nightime sleeping and therefore feeling far too exhausted during the day, having strange day-mares where the neighbours kill my little family, not very pleasant at all.  I told Jam and he was very understanding and as men usually do, he tried to fix it, but I wasn't needing fixing, just understanding and support and ended up getting very upset and he left to go to work on a bit of a downer.

Mini meltdown inevitable my father-in-law called and I was trying to keep it together when towards the end of the conversation my voice started wobbling and he asked if I was ok, and I blubbed, 'no-o-o-o-o, I'm exhausted and have just been horrible to Jam and I know he's only trying to help and... and... and I've dyed the nappies pink' cue an outburst of laughter that got me going as well.  It's funny because now he's sleeping ... and I haven't had to go running upstairs every half hour... and I've managed to dye the nappies back to white... and have a bath... and eat another chocolate egg...

How to thank your husband for giving you a break

Yes indeed, this is my quandry.  I want to thank Jam for being such a gorgeous husband and giving me a break.  He's taken the little munchkin off to a music group, so I've had a luxurious soak, washed my hair and instead of running around frantically cleaning... (I did that yesterday, they went to visit great grandad - hmmm, so I have to doubly thank him!) I'm determined to catch up on some essential reading and writing.

The one thing that springs to mind is some serious loving!  I'm not going to go into details here, but that does seem to fall by the wayside when you've got a small one stuck to your boob all day.  Finding the time when you're both in the mood is not as easy as it seems, especially when you don't have a slurry of servants around to do all your tasks for you when you do have a spare minute.  My sister is paying a visit tomorrow morning and she said she would help me with the cleaning, but now that the cottage is clean, I think she would much rather take the little one for a walk!  It is HIM she's coming to visit really after all!  Ah, I love it when a plan comes together!

So I'm trying to clear my mind of all things baby-like.  It's hard but I'm determined.  I am a temple to love.  I am open to my heart.  I am open to my sex chakra.  I am open to suggestions!   I am suddenly very excited ~ so this must be a good thing!

I shall also thank him with an omelette for lunch...
What more does a man need?