Listography - Decisions

Kate Takes 5 has a brilliant blog and a weekly listography themed this week on decisions. So without further ado, here are my top five best decisions...

1)  Learning to play the violin - after the initial stages of sounding like a cat being strangled and having to practise in the garden shed, even in winter, it has enriched my life completely, a highlight was being able to play in a cool dance band called Loonaloop and tour Australia...

2)  Marrying my husband was a grrrrreat decision, he also plays violin and makes instruments, he's made me a guitar and a wooden puppet of me each year for my birthday - that must be love!
(He's just bought in my dinner too, so beautifully presented...)

3)  Deciding to stop trying to fix my family's problems and concentrate on building my own, family that is, not problems....

4)  Being an instinctive parent, learning to trust my heart and love my family.

5)  Moving to the country - despite missing London boat life, this country lark is lovely and calm and green and peaceful and saving us lots of money so we can hopefully get our foot on the property market ladder and do lots of other exciting things, like maybe one day get back down under.

The Five Languages of Love

We had breakfast in bed this morning.  Pureed fruits for the little one and he loved them.  We've been reading the Five Languages of Love by Dr Chapman, a book given to us at Christmas.  It's a must for anyone wishing to make sure their emotional love tanks are full.  It is clearly written with a simple questionnaire at the back to help you find out your primary love languages.  (There's also a  website)

I had never thought of it like that before.  We're still in the early days of marriage but it makes sense to make sure we are both aware of what language the other is speaking so we can keep each other's love tanks topped up.  I love that - love tank - I'm filling you up baby!  According to Dr Chapman there are five different languages -
Words of Affirmation,
Quality Time,
Receiving Gifts,
Acts of Service,
Physical Touch

So if your partner's primary love language is Quality Time, yet you perform Acts of Service instead, then pretty soon his/her love tank will run low and you may have problems arising.  Unless you know the difference between the languages then you won't be able to keep each other topped up.  You think you are doing all you can for your partner, washing up, vacuuming, cooking dinner, looking after the baby, mowing the lawn, yet they still don't show you the love you want.  It may be that they are needing you to spend some time with them, talking to them, listening to them without interrupting or trying to solve the problem, going to the theatre or for a walk together.  The love languages are different.

I'm not going to go into detail here, the book is much better at that and worth getting and reading yourself, it has many case studies in it and touches on the same love languages in children and how to recognise how your child loves and be able to keep them emotionally tanked up throughout their growing years.  It was a revelation to me to read this and great that Jam read it too.  There is a case study of someone that tries it on her own, her partner doesn't think anything is wrong so refuses to get help, but eventually he comes round, it's a big journey to take to repair faulty relationships, but so worth it in the end if you can persevere and regain the love.  It's worth reading before any relationship goes wrong in order to prevent it from doing so!

I thought it would be a preaching Christian orientated book, but even though there is reference to Jesus,  Love speaks louder than religion here.  It's made our conversations much more fun and we're aware of each other's needs emotionally. Ach, we're so in love, it's sickening!  I want to give it to all my friends and family...

Gratitude

A Day of Gratitude

I've had a wonderful weekend away for a friend's birthday ~ country house, beach walk, laughter and giggles.  It's quite bizarre though, for they live right next to my Dad's first wife.  A couple of years ago they hosted a friend's wedding and used her garden for the venue and it wasn't until at the party that we discovered the link.  I was hanging upside down on the beams of the yurt with legs all over the place and a lopsided grin at the time, drunk to the hilt on champagne and she was talking to my husband saying 'I think that lady needs help', quite...

My little brother, who is also a musician, has come back to ours to record some of our music for another friend's wedding in May.  They are getting married abroad first so want to have a recording of the music to take with them.  I'm typing this as Jam is playing in the snug, it's such a treat to hear.  Music is everything, without it the world is like a flat bottle of coke.  Or do I mean a bottle of flat coke?  Music is the fizz of life.  Music makes life sparkle.

When I got home there was a parcel waiting for me and it was my friend's beautiful poetry book that I had ordered online from Lulu.  She's such a warm-hearted, kind, funny, generous and inspiring lady and I am so pleased to have her in my life.  We met whilst volunteering at a charity shop together in London.  She has inspired me to get on with my own poetry collection.  That is my project this year.  It's exciting.  Squeak!

I am so lucky to have so many beautiful people in my life.  It's nice to step out of the usual routine and take some large gulps of fresh air to clear out the system and be reminded of everything wonderful in your world.  Sometimes when there is a big change, or lots of changes it's too easy to get bogged down in the trivial daily matters and lose yourself in a depressing cycle of miserableness, worrying about silly things and forgetting the big picture.  So, cheesy as it is, I'm thankful for my life, for all the joy it brings to me and my family and friends.  I'm glad I have not forgotten how to smile at myself, and to others.  And I'm so pleased that since having my baby, my boobs are enormous.  Ok so that won't last and they will probably be around my ankles when I finish breastfeeding, but I will surely have something else to be grateful for when that happens.

Negligee, sorry neglect...

I'm neglecting you aren't I?  Would rather be sorting out my knicker drawer than writing my blog, so it seems but you're wrong, I'm sorry, I hope your heart is growing fonder and I shall be back with a vendetta sorry vengeance, just as soon as I remember how to write, fit everything in and get my child to sleep on his own without him needing to be on my boobs all day! ;)