Sunday, 30 January 2011

The Five Languages of Love

We had breakfast in bed this morning.  Pureed fruits for the little one and he loved them.  We've been reading the Five Languages of Love by Dr Chapman, a book given to us at Christmas.  It's a must for anyone wishing to make sure their emotional love tanks are full.  It is clearly written with a simple questionnaire at the back to help you find out your primary love languages.  (There's also a  website)

I had never thought of it like that before.  We're still in the early days of marriage but it makes sense to make sure we are both aware of what language the other is speaking so we can keep each other's love tanks topped up.  I love that - love tank - I'm filling you up baby!  According to Dr Chapman there are five different languages -
Words of Affirmation,
Quality Time,
Receiving Gifts,
Acts of Service,
Physical Touch

So if your partner's primary love language is Quality Time, yet you perform Acts of Service instead, then pretty soon his/her love tank will run low and you may have problems arising.  Unless you know the difference between the languages then you won't be able to keep each other topped up.  You think you are doing all you can for your partner, washing up, vacuuming, cooking dinner, looking after the baby, mowing the lawn, yet they still don't show you the love you want.  It may be that they are needing you to spend some time with them, talking to them, listening to them without interrupting or trying to solve the problem, going to the theatre or for a walk together.  The love languages are different.

I'm not going to go into detail here, the book is much better at that and worth getting and reading yourself, it has many case studies in it and touches on the same love languages in children and how to recognise how your child loves and be able to keep them emotionally tanked up throughout their growing years.  It was a revelation to me to read this and great that Jam read it too.  There is a case study of someone that tries it on her own, her partner doesn't think anything is wrong so refuses to get help, but eventually he comes round, it's a big journey to take to repair faulty relationships, but so worth it in the end if you can persevere and regain the love.  It's worth reading before any relationship goes wrong in order to prevent it from doing so!

I thought it would be a preaching Christian orientated book, but even though there is reference to Jesus,  Love speaks louder than religion here.  It's made our conversations much more fun and we're aware of each other's needs emotionally. Ach, we're so in love, it's sickening!  I want to give it to all my friends and family...


  1. Oh yes! I read this one! It seems so intuitive once you read it and yet I still had to have it explained to me.

  2. It's such a great book isn't it! So simple yet so effective : -)) x x