Tuesday, 23 November 2010

Tuesday's Tantrum - 1

Well, I've decided to try weekly themed slots of entries to keep me regularly posting.  I'm very excited about Wednesday's slot - The Wallpaper Strip - taking you, my dear reader on a vociferous, sorry vicarious (knew it began with 'v') journey through my cottage and its terrific wallpaper designs.

Tuesday's are going to be tantrum day.  I don't know why, well apart from the fact it begins with 't'.  That's about as far as my brain is travelling today!  So every Tuesday I shall try and have a tantrum about something and become a better person for having got it off my chest.  I tend not to be a tantrum person, so I may have set myself an impossible task, but persevere I will, with some humour thrown in too, if that's possible.  Any issues you wish me to have a tantrum about, please let me know.  Jam by the way is horrified about this, he fears that you will get the wrong impression of me and not only that, he'll have to sit through my weekly tirade as I type it.  Get over it I screamed, rather insensitively...

Now, when I started this I wasn't sure what I was going to tantrum about, but suddenly there's a million things and gosh, where do I start?

Parenting methods - why do some people think it's ok to tell you how to bring up your child?  There's always a throw away comment, 'creating a rod for your own back', 'mine were in their own beds by day two', 'mine slept through the night by six weeks', 'you've got to express or you won't have enough milk', or a million other things said that make you feel lousy / bad Mum / useless / angry or all of the above.  Of course all these people are your nearest and dearest and are only trying to help in their own way and would be most upset to know that they have upset you and really, you wouldn't be upset normally but on little sleep those raw nerves are quite prominent. 'Sod off!  I'm doing it my way!' you shout at them, in your head of course, but it doesn't make you feel any better. 

One friend of mine has her mother constantly saying to her 'why don't you put her down, why can't you do it like so-and-so, she follows such-and-such a method and it really works'.  That would drive me mad!  It's such a personal journey bringing up children and parents are often made to feel that they are doing it wrong, when instinctively they are doing everything right.  Our parents and friends who have been there before, may have all the answers, but those answers were for their children and are not always translatable to your own.  Often advice is given without it being wanted.  I always think it's best to give advice only if you're asked for it, or put it in such a way that it doesn't sound like you're telling the person what to do, make it constructive rather than critical and be supportive.  Teach don't lecture! (said Jam, with a face full of food and arms in the air - peach flavoured ketchup is what I thought he'd said! Odd.)

So.  Should I go on? Have I made a point?  Was it well argued?  Probably not as well as it could have been but Rowan is gurgling in agreement at me so it's time to put this out there and go out for a walk.

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